what am i doing? why am i here? i'm so oversaturated... my mind is filled with hundreds of images and words seen on a lit screen while sitting on my ass. it's making me sick. it's influencing me. it's making me weak. why do we all put so much into this? it's our own hyperreality. it's so fake. why do we care what everyone in internet world thinks of us? why are we so hungry for likes and friends and followers? why do i feel the need to post my milestones and heartaches on something as frivolous as facebook? it's teaching us all to be egotistical. we are all starving for attention. why can't we just be at peace with ourselves? why can't we just TALK to each other? why can't we embrace real life instead of trying to make everything seem so picturesque through a happy little screen?
i was thinking.. i am really upset that one of my favorite bands just broke up. i was going to post about it. but wtf. why? it won't change a thing. in addition, no one in my internet circle cares. plus, why should i post my inner feelings in a virtual public place?
i feel like i havent been living life. like, i need to go outside. read a book. write in an old fashioned journal.
i used to write. i used to be filled with ideas all the time. i used to run around barefoot with no makeup on in clothes that didn't match, and follow the creek as far as i could. i used to have an imagination. and knowledge.
what did i want to be back then? i don't remember
repulsed
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