Prozac Life

Sorry, it's been a while.

I am extremely excited and nervous today. I have been on Prozac for 9 months (lexapro for another 6 before that). This afternoon, I go to my doctor to begin my journey getting OFF of it.

Why am I getting off?
1. Side effects are becoming too much to bear. I've gained 25 pounds. I don't ever feel "sexy" or "in the mood". I am SO SLEEPY. ALL THE TIME.
2. I'm in a good place now. My jobs are going great, my husband and I are great, I have friends, I have a house, a car, and no debt. I'm no longer being abused and I feel like life has finally become what it's supposed to be.

Why am I scared?
1. Prozac has almost made made me into a manically cheerful and silly person in the last few months. It's really helped me socially. I'm afraid my personality will change.
2. I'm scared I won't lose this weight because the prozac has messed up my metabolism permanently.
3. I'm scared that I'll be scared again. Scared all the time (anxiety coming back).
4. I'm scared I will no longer see through the rose-colored glasses and see life as pointless again.

BUT DAMN! SUMMER IS COMING UP AND I CAN'T BE THIS FAT! My clothes don't fit me anymore. My work pants, and one pair of jeans. That's all.

But I need to take this step for myself. Of course I have reservations, but I have come SUCH a long way. I'm hoping that regardless of medication, I have really grown and matured as a person. And that I'm now ready to "spread my wings and fly" or some other nice cliche.